I just wanted it to all go away and decided the best way to get it to go was to not talk about anything dealing with Joyie.I also broke up with Brad, which was stupid, but at the time I didn't want anyone else close to me that I might lose. I even pushed Dad and Mom away as far as I could. In short, I became a brat and pushed everyone to their last button.One Saturday morning, three weeks after Joyie's death, I heard rain tapping at the window. My head felt too heavy to be lifted off the pillow; my mouth was dry and sour. I concentrated on not throwing up and then opened my right eye. For the first few seconds I didn't know where I was, but after a momentary panic, my brain connected the desk chair and the window seat with Brad's room.I gone to a party with my cousins the night before and could remember getting drunk for the first time in my life and climbing out the bathroom window to get away from a guy who wanted to have sex with me. He'd been as drunk as I and the escape wasn't. I choked hard, "Open up boy or I will break your jaw" I thought he was going to break it anyway, more and more he forced his penis inside my mouth, he started to move back and forth, I couldn't breathe. He started to get into his groove and grunting everytime he pushed forward, I could smell the stink of his big bush of pubic hair.With both hands behind my head he kept forcing his now stiff cock into my mouth, I tried breathing through my nose but even then it was barely manageable. I tried to raise my hands to push him away but he just held both of my wrists together with one hand over my head as he continued slamming me, he was too big, I couldn't fight him off and now I was all the way pushed up against the pile of the other mattresses, I was pinned. It seemed like it kept going for ever, my mouth kept wanting to close but couldn't. "I told you not to bite me whore!" He slapped me hard on the side of my head and I started to see stars, already dizzy from the lack of air, I passed.
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